Nostalgic Video Games

Title: Small Soldiers
Year Released: 1998
Developers: Electronic Arts
Publishers: Dreamworks Interactive
Console: PlayStation

Background: Ever since home video game consoles were made available, there have been many, many movie tie-in games. While there are a few that the developers actually took a lot of time and effort in order to create a great movie-based game, in most cases they fail to live up to its potential. Small Soldiers was a below-average film, not terrible, but nothing great either, but it could easily have made a decent game. It was about two different sets of action figures who were given a high-tech military chip installed in them which caused them to have free will. The two sets were the Gorgonites, a team of hideous monsters and the Commandos, a team of American soldiers. The Gorgonites are the good guys, while the Commandos are their evil enemies. Archer, the leader of the Gorgonites, befriends Alan, the main character in the film. The Commandos eventually attack and stuff happens. It's been a while since I've last seen it. However, is the game as bad as the film, or is it worse?

Story: Unlike most movie tie-ins, the story does not simple re-tell the movie, nor does it have any of the scenes or locations from the movie. In fact, the only thing the movie and the game have in common is the Gorgonite and Commando characters and their war. You control Archer through fourteen levels where you have to fight a number of Commando soldiers and their attacking machines. You have four normal weapons, the weakest being unlimited arrows, then there is a weapon that bounces off whatever you shoot it at, a homing weapon and the most powerful weapon, an explosive weapon. There are a few "special" weapons, including mines, a weapon that instantly kills all enemies around you and your Gorgonite allies. Your allies, collected as power-ups, are easily the most useful weapon in the game. Unfortunately their A.I. is horrendous and all but one of them can't move to a higher level. The story is not well explained at all. From what I gathered, your home is attacked by the Commandos, as the levels go on, you make them gradually withdraw into their base until you are able to attack it and eventually take out their leader, Major Chip Hazard (who is voiced by the same guy who voiced him in the films; Tommy Lee Jones. Awesome). That's really it for the story. There are two short cut-scenes, one at the start and one at the end of the 1 Player story. However, I do like that they at least tried to make it an original story rather than a retelling of the film, which would not have worked for a game like this.

Gameplay: This is just your standard 3D action/platformer, but the controls are not good and the puzzles are not very interesting. It does not matter if I use the analogue stick or the D-Pad, it was hard to line up jumps properly, at least until I was able to adjust to the slightly awkward controls. Aiming is not easy. If you use R1 to line up your shots you will get shot yourself and if you choose not to and try to hit them without aiming...you will get shot AND fail to hit them even more than usual. The puzzles, when there is one, tend to be the standard "collect red key to open key door" type puzzles. Boring and uninspired. Sometimes there you have to destroy something in order to complete the level, and in one case this was frustrating. The weak point for it you could only really hit if it was pointing right at you...problem is that when it shooted it's laser, it took off quite a bit of health. The A.I. in this game is rubbish. Enemies will either run about constantly, or stand right in front of you giving you easy shots. Enemies tend to take a lot of hits unless you shoot them with the most powerful weapon or a special weapon, both of which you would want to save for when it gets tough. This game is not difficult, but can be frustrating. Sometimes you can get through most of the level only to be attacked out of nowhere by a Commando on a mounted weapon which you cannot see until you walk a little more towards it, making you easier to hit. Some levels take a few attempts to pass, but are easy as long as you know what to expect. The final battle with Major Chip Hazard is quite cheap, he can fly about, take lots of hits and shoots almost constantly. Again, however, it is quite easy once you know what to do. The enemies in each level are repetitive. There are two or three different types of enemy in each level. The game uses a password system...which is completely redundent because there is a save system. There are secrets to be found, but they are unrewarding (they give you an extra special weapon if you find all of them in a level). Replayability in single player is thus pretty low. There is a Multiplayer mode, but good luck finding someone who is actually willing to play this game with you.

Graphics: As always with Playstation games, the graphics are dated and horrible by todays standards. However, even comparing to other games released at that time, Small Soldiers does not look good. Each level is dark, dull and uninteresting. The characters look okay, but there is an issue I have with them. From what I can tell, this is supposed to represent the background of the action figures, i.e. if the real characters fought a real war on a real place. Problem is that they are all still toys in this game. Little plastic bits come off the characters when they are shot. This would not have been a problem if it was not for the fact that it is supposed to be the "real-life" counterparts fighting.

Sound: The music in this game is surprisingly good. It is epic and orchestrated, and fits the setting pretty well. If only the game itself could match the music. Voices are okay, but repetitive. Tommy Lee Jones was highlighted on the back of the box, yet Chip Hazard has around six lines in the entire game, making this the most underused big-name voice in a video game (more so than Patrick Stewart in Elder Scrolls: Oblivion). Sound effects are not anything special, but I was not expecting realistic gunshots or explosions from a PS1 game.

Conclusion: This game was made to cash in on a film that was average, and it shows. It is not a good game, it is frustrating yet somehow still easy. You could complete this game in five or six hours, even if you die as much as I did (which was too much). Liked the film? Still don't buy this game. For every good thing in this game, there are a hundred bad things. I bought it thinking "hey, I remember this game! I quite liked it, didn't I?". Nostalgia's a bitch.

Story: I was seven years old, Christmas was approaching and in between my doses of WCW, an advert for a game called WWF Attitude kept playing. At this point, all I knew was that WWF was wrestling...and that's it. I was a WCW fan, but that was to change, thanks to this game. In fact, if it was not for this game, I probably would have stopped watching wrestling the moment WCW stopped showing over here. I got this game for Christmas and for a long time it was my favourite game (mainly because I had two PS1 games at the time). I loved to create my own characters and attempt to use them to destroy my opponents...usually ending in disaster. So, what made this game so addicting to me as a seven year-old? And does it still have the same effect on me nine and a half years later?

Why I Liked It: Even though I had no ideas who these guys were (except The Rock, my friend loved him so I knew who he was), I loved the different characters of the WWF. My favourite was Gangrel, a vampire who would drink "blood" from his goblet and spit it into the crowd. As a child I loved this and he became one of my favourite wrestlers when I started watching the WWF (even if he rarely ever appeared by that point). Another wrestler I grew to like thanks to this game was Kane. I thought his music was awesome, but I still feel ashamed that I actually thought he was a robot for many months until I finally saw him on television. This is because of his voice in the game, another thing I loved about this game. Before every match, the wrestlers would trash talk each other. In fact, I used to start matches just to hear them talk. I also liked the commentating, but I was not used to hearing voices in games by this point.

My Opinion Of It Now: The actual matches are boring. Compare it to the Smackdown! series, it just takes so long to finish a match. I always wondered why I never managed to win one of the belts in the game. It was because it just could not keep me interested in it for that long. The characters walk so slow and I can never get used to the controls (perhaps this is a side-effect of playing too much Smackdown! games). It is not the worst wrestling game I own (WCW Mayhem may just take that honour, I haven't played it in so long), but it is definitely not the best. It has aged terribly. The only thing I would say I like about this game is the nostalgia factor. This was the game that originally got me into the WWF (WWE now-a-days) and so I have a place in my memories for nearly every guy in this game. However, I would rather keep this game in my memories, than have to play it again.

Score: 4/10

Part two of this epic list of ultimate epicness (in other words, part two of this totally uninteresting list) and this is where it gets good. From 6 to 1, including some obvious choices, some kind of obvious choices and one particularly WHAT THE FORK choice. This is my personal favourite game series’ of all time, part two.

6) Sonic the Hedgehog

As I briefly mentioned in the first part, the first console I ever played was a Mega Drive (Genesis), so obviously this hedgehog was a permanent resident in our household. A fact that I like to keep reminding my sister is that when I was two years old, I could get further in the original Sonic (for the Master System, we were a SEGA house) than her. That is not because I was some sort of gaming god, nor was it because she was particularly bad (although she was pretty bad…), it was because I was addicted to it that I learned the first few levels off by heart. However, soon I was to lose contact with my hero, as the SEGA console got put away, replaced by some Nintendo handheld console that no one has ever heard of. The next time I actually owned a Sonic game would be in 2004 when I bought Sonic Adventure 2: Battle for the Gamecube. I loved it, this was my favourite Gamecube game for a whole three days (then I bought Super Smash Bros…). Eventually I also got the Sonic Mega Collection Plus for the PS2 and it was like my early childhood on a disc. It was the Sonic I knew and loved. Not this rubbish they produce these days, pure 2D wonderfulness. I refuse to have it any other way (apart from Adventure 2, I do occasionally still play that one…).

Favourite Game: Don’t actually have one, so I’ll cheat and say Sonic Mega Collection Plus

5) Football Manager

Probably the odd one out of the list, the black sheep, the hideously fat one among a bunch of skinny people, the tall person among midgets, the one who stands in a trench coat outside your house with binoculars…I think you get the point now. The Football Manager series (known in other areas as Worldwide Soccer Manager), is strangely enough a football management simulation series. I got into this game by accident also. Back in 1999, I had a football (soccer, whatever) management game that broke, causing me to cry to my Mum to get me a new one. She had no idea which one to get and so she bought me a game called Championship Manager 3. After initial disappointment (it was the wrong game), I decided to give it a shot. I loved it. More than loved, I was hooked. Granted, I had no idea what I was doing and rarely got beyond one season, but I did not care. I actually played this game for five years, until Championship Manager 4 came out. A couple of years later my PC broke and I went a whole year without being able to play it. Eventually I got another PC, but it was not long after that I discovered a game that I bought on impulse that would change my life. It was called Football Manager 2005. Since then I have bought the game pretty much near release date and have written many online stories based on my experiences, yeah, I am that sad that I would go on a website and talk about my experience playing a game. Thank god I don’t do that anymore. Still though, for soccer fans, this game is brilliant. If you are just a causal soccer fan with no idea about anything else apart from “Kick ball into net”, then I would stick with games like FIFA. Still though, Football Manager games are addictive. Overall, I have spent 14 whole days (yeah, two weeks of my life have been used on these games), which is more than any other series on this list (except number one…)

Favourite Game: Football Manager 2007

4) Pokémon

This is childhood. As a kid growing up in the late 90’s and early 00’s, it was hard to avoid these games. They were a phenomenon, and a phenomenal strain on our parent’s wallets. What made these games so good? I actually cannot tell. I am a fan of turn-based RPG’s anyway, so the gameplay itself is enough for me, but as a kid? Cannot remember, but damn it, we played these games for days. We watched the television show like it was our own animated bible, we bought so much trading cards that, combined, we probably could have fed an entire impoverished country for a week (slight exaggeration). As we got older, however, the cartoon became rubbish and we became ashamed if we played this “childish” game…at 10 years old, we thought this game to be childish. Eventually I decided to play Ruby (it came with my GBA SP) and I loved it. Since then, I basically give the middle finger to the childish tag and embraced the series. While the spin-off games do not do anything for me, I do still enjoy playing the main game. While so many improvements can be made, the traditional Pokémon games can keep me entertained for hours at a time. It’s simple, yet challenging. It is easily more fun than attempting to train real life creatures to battle (I was once young enough to actually believe this could work…).

Favourite Game: Pokémon Gold/Silver

3) Metal Gear Solid

I almost missed this series completely. I only got into this series after borrowing the second game, Sons of Liberty, at the same time as borrowing…Eye Toy Play (I was 11...). I decided to give it a chance and loved it. Despite forgetting the “stealth” element of the game several times (Gung Ho style does not work in the game…), I eventually got into the story and wanted to play the previous game. Fast forward two years later and I got Snake Eater. I loved this game even more, and it was during this time I became a proper MGS fan. However, I still hadn’t played the first game, which meant there was many story elements of the second and third games that confused me. So, in 2007, I finally decided to purchase Metal Gear Solid for the PS1. I…kind of liked it. I found it hard to get used to the controls after playing the other two, but the story was good and the gameplay is still familiar enough for me to like. I do not own a PS3, so I will have to wait years before I get to finally play the Guns of the Patriots. Despite this, Metal Gear Solid is one of my favourite game series of all times. Characters have interesting backstories, the story is complex (perhaps a little too much so, and a little OTT at times), good soundtrack and it was one of the first games to have good voice acting in the game.

Favourite Game: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater

2) Grand Theft Auto

What a surprise. GTA is possibly the biggest known game series at this current time. It is controversial, violent and hell of a lot of fun. Like a lot of people, I discovered this series through Grand Theft Auto III. While at the time this was a fantastic game, the sequels totally blew GTA III out of the water. Vice City has a much brighter setting, a great soundtrack (featuring so many guilty pleasures of mine) and Ray Liotta voicing the main character. What more could you want? Well, everything more that you wanted, it was in San Andreas. San Andreas is, for me, the closest thing to the perfect game that I have played. The soundtrack was better, the setting was good (although I prefer Vice City’s setting) and it has one of the greatest voice cast in video game history. San Andreas is the peak of the series, but we all thought that GTA IV would destroy San Andreas in every way. Unfortunately, the hype was too great and it did not meet it. It was still a fantastic game, but San Andreas was the better game. IV had amazing graphics, but that it the only thing about the game I like more than San Andreas. The series is still great and hopefully the next (non-downloadable) GTA game will improve the GTA IV series just like Vice City and San Andreas improved the GTA III series. The older games are worth a shot too, but the series really got fantastic after GTA III.

Favourite Game: Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

1) Final Fantasy

This game series means more to me than every other series ever to exist in the history of everness. Although I can easily admit that Final Fantasy is not the best game series ever, it is the most important series in my life. From the age of seven until right now, I have been hooked by this game. Cannot explain why, I fail to defend my love of the series all that well and I do not care. I love this game series (‘cept X-2, that needs to die a horrible death - preferably being burned alive to remove all evidence of it’s existence). It all started with watching a friend play VII, and I liked it. I eventually got Final Fantasy VIII (along with Toy Story 2: Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue. Ahh, childhood, I miss you so) and that is the game that turned me from “yeah, I occasionally play games, but that is it” to the “OH MY GOD, MUST PLAY GAME” man that I have become. No matter which game I play, I can sit there for hours just training my characters (‘cept X-2). While the series has slipped in recent years (although I am not going to blame the merger with Enix, it is around about that time I feel FF games started to become inconsistent), I will always have a place in my heart for Final Fantasy (but I will always hate Final Fantasy X-2 with a passion that shall never die).

Favourite Game: Final Fantasy VII

Ever since I held my first Mega Drive (Genesis) controller at the age of two years old, I have considered myself to be a gamer. Nearly fifteen years have past since those days and I have grown loyal to a number of game series. Twelve of them, to be exact. Some of them have nostalgic qualities, some are simply great games. Here, I count down my own personal top 12 game series. This is a list that everyone will disagree with, everyone has their own favourites.
There are two rules:
1) The series must contain at least three games.
2) I must have played at least three of them.
This means that a number of great series, including The Legend of Zelda, Metroid and a lot of other old games are not represented on this list. So, on with the first half list…

12) Guitar Hero

Ideally this would be replaced with Rock Band, but there is only two games in that series so far. Guitar Hero, developed by Harmonix, is a game everybody knows by now. Anybody can play it and it usually contains a fantastic collection of songs to pretend to play guitar to. I was introduced to this series in the summer of 2007, when I decided to get Guitar Hero II for the PS2. I thought it was an excellent game and when III came out, I was excited. It is also where I feel the series went downhill. While it still contained a good soundtrack, something did not seem right. Harmonix no longer developed the game, that duty was given to Neversoft and maybe this had something to do with it. Harmonix would go on to partner EA and MTV to create Rock Band. While Guitar Hero is the more well known brand, Rock Band is, for me, the better game. It had a soundtrack I loved, it was great to play on guitar and vocals (maybe not so great for anyone who had to listen to me “sing”) and I just felt it was brilliant. World Tour did introduce the whole band concept, but it still could not get me to switch sides. This is the reason why this series is down so low, it just is not as good as Rock Band in my opinion. I still like it, just not as much.

Favourite Game: Guitar Hero II

11) Gran Turismo

The first game I ever played on the original Playstation, it did not really catch my attention until I was on holiday in London a few years ago when I had this overwhelming urge to play it. When I came home, I promptly bought GT4 and proceeded to race my heart out. I am not usually into car racing games, usually because I suck badly at them. However, I got obsessed with this game and spent days playing it. I still sucked badly, but early on in the game I got a car which was far superior to every other car I was racing against that even crashing against a wall at 100 mph three times could not stop me winning the race. I love dominating! Alas, I eventually had to grow some skill at the game to proceed and found it hard to do that. Despite getting all the licenses, I still sucked at actually driving properly. However, it is still a good game for everyone, casual players to racing game nuts. I still do not consider myself to be a fan of racing games, but this game managed to create a little soft spot in my heart.

Favourite Game: Gran Turismo 4

10) Tony Hawk

I was a late comer for this series. The first game of the series I bought was Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2 for the GBA…and I hated it. I also bought THPS for the PS1 around six years ago…and hated it. I thought third time lucky and bought Tony Hawk’s Underground for the PS2...and loved it. Do not know how or why, but I suddenly became a Tony Hawk fan. Not a big fan of skateboarding, but I do love these games. From Underground onwards I just had to buy these games, although not really because of the actual game. The soundtracks for these games usually feature some fantastic songs, even if I do tend to switch off all the Hip Hop ones. Only one other game can compare with Tony Hawk when it comes to introducing me to new bands. While the game itself is pretty good, it is made so much more better thanks to the soundtrack.

Favourite Game: American Wasteland

9) Mario Kart

I discovered this series thanks to Mario Kart Advance for the GBA. I did not even choose this game, it came with the GBA which I got for Christmas, meaning it is the first (but not the last) case of accidentally getting into a series. This game was brilliant and four years after I got it, I was still playing it more than every other handheld game I owned at the time(with the exception of Pokémon Ruby). I eventually got Mario Kart DS, which I thought was simply fantastic…until some idiot at my school managed to lose it. Bastard. Anyways, my sister also bought Double Dash for herself, but I eventually claimed it for myself (in my defence…it is my Gamecube…) and again, thought it was good, although I did prefer the handheld versions. Finally, just this week I bought Super Mario Kart for the SNES off eBay, and it is also a decent game. Even though I rarely get to play with others, it is multiplayer which makes this game so good. There is very few things as rewarding than hitting your sister…with a red shell. Would have been higher, but after this entry, nostalgia starts to take action, so it cannot really compete with the power of nostalgia. Still, it is one of the few occurrences when a spin-off title off an already awesome series (which is not featured here, due reasons of not owning three (that will change soon though…)) actually does not suck major lollipops.

Favourite Game: Mario Kart DS

8) Tekken

A series of games I have been playing since 1999, Tekken will always have a place in my games collection. While many people will say Street Fighter is the far more superior series, I have only just got Street Fighter 2: Turbo for the SNES, so I cannot really agree. While I think the series has passed it’s peak, after the sheer brilliance of Tekken’s 3 and Tag Tournament, they are still fun to play. With a sixth game coming out in the Autumn, I will no doubt buy it and love it. There are many characters, each one with their own backstory, rivalries, friendships and unique styles of fighting. However, it is hard for me to properly justify liking this series so much, I put it down to the fact I have been playing these games for so long (yet mysteriously I cannot play them very well. I would most probably lose to a three year-old girl…with no arms…and mental disabilities…).

Favourite Game: Tekken Tag Tournament

7) WWE Smackdown!

Again, nostalgia has a big part to play in this series being this high in the list. From the age of six, until about twelve, I loved wrestling. I had dreams of being a professional wrestler. I “trained”, first using a teddy bear and then my quilt as my “opponent”. I even slept with The Rock…and by that I mean I had The Rock pyjamas. Needless to say, I loved the video games as well…half by accident. I watched WCW, but still got WWF Attitude for the PS1, even though I had no idea what the WWF was, except it had wrestling. I got the game and not long afterwards started to watch the actual WWF, just as all my friends were getting into it. Naturally, when WWF Smackdown was released, we all loved it. Looking back, I fail to see how we enjoyed the first game so much, especially after the awesomeness of the second game, Know Your Role. The series has since dipped up and down in quality, sometimes being great (Shut Your Mouth, Here Comes The Pain, vs. RAW 07), sometimes being rubbish (Just Bring It, vs. RAW 06 & 08) and sometimes being good, but not great. Overall, despite not being into the real thing any more, I still have time to play these games. While they are not as good as they were back in the day, they are still fun to play.

Favourite Game: WWE Smackdown! Shut Your Mouth

Title: Pokémon Yellow
Year Released: 1998 (Jap), 1999 (N. America), 2000 (Europe)
Developers: Game Freak
Publishers: Nintendo
Console: Game Boy

Background: Let me start by saying that this review will obviously be quite a short one, mainly because this game is basically a slightly upgraded version of Pokémon Red/Blue. This game was probably more popular then Red and Blue was as by this point we had all begun to be obessed with the Pokémon cartoon series and this game capitialised on this, by introducing some minor changes which were inspired by the cartoon series. However, was it better than Red/Blue, or was it just an unnecessary makeover?

Story: There are only very minor changes to this story to the Red/Blue story. Instead of having the choice of three Pokémon, you are forced to accept Pikachu, who will follow you around everywhere. You can turn and talk to him and he will show some reaction and emotion. If you let him get fainted too much, he will start to hate you. Treat him well, and he will love you. Another minor change is that Jesse, James and Meowth of Team Rocket from the cartoon series, appears in this game as enemies. You will face them a number of times during your journey, instead of facing random members of Team Rocket. Other than that, there are no other real changes to talk about.

Graphics: The images of the Pokémon have been redone and as a result they are similar to they way they look in the cartoon series. This is much better and makes them look nicer, in my often-wrong opinion.

Sound: Just the same as in the previous games.

Conclusion: While I probably should have done this review at the same time as the Red/Blue review, I felt that this needed a seperate one, just because it is better. If you do not own any of the three between Red, Blue and Yellow and you wish to buy one...get Yellow. It is probably the better of the three.

Final Score: 7.5 Pikachus out of 10.

Sorry for the pathetic length of this review, but there is not much more to say about this game. In two weeks time (hopefully) it will be...Pokémon Stadium for the Nintendo 64.

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I was planning on reviewing X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse. However, due to a lack of availability in Europe and the fact it is not a good game for emulation, I have to change it all. So, just to make sure I do not make this mistake again, I will only review games I have already purchased, just to be sure. Also, I am going to put down the next seven (non-Pokémon) games I am going to review (so I don't forget). In order:
1) Earthworm Jim (SNES)
2) Duck Tales (NES)
3) Donkey Kong Country (SNES)
4) F-Zero (SNES)
5) Street Fighter 2 Turbo (SNES)
6) Super Mario Bros. (NES)
7) Super Mario World (SNES)

You might have noticed that all of these games are for either the NES or the SNES. That is because I recently bought the two consoles and thus doing reviews on games for that consoles makes sense to me. Anyways, I'm sure this is a waste of time, so I think I will end it now.
Byeb.

Title: Pokémon Trading Card Game
Developed By: Hudson Soft
Published By: Nintendo
Console: Game Boy Colour
Year Released: 1998 (Japan), 2000 (Everywhere else)

Background: Part two of my super-amazing Pokémon nostalgia trip of ultimate happiness...and it's a game based off the popular trading card game...based on the popular video game Pokémon. Surely it has all the ingredients for INSTANT CLASSIC! But, as much as I mock the concept, it really does not seem that bad of an idea. I mean, as a kid there was nothing like the trading card game. Over a period of two years we probably spent well over £100 on these pieces of card, yet most of us never had battles...because we did not read the rules. We just wanted to collect and look at the pretty pictures. When we did battle...it was usually pathetic because of previously mentioned failure to read instructions. Yet despite this we loved the Pokémon Trading Card game...yet strangely none of us owned this game. In fact, whenever I bring it up in any Pokémon related conversations, it is usually replied with "wait...they made a trading card game...for the Game Boy?". I always had a curiousity about it, so when I sat down last week and decided to play this game I was hyped. Is it a good game, worthy of my self-hype of it, or is it like all ad spin off games...bad! Here is our answer...

Story: The story uses the Pokémon formula...you are a kid who wants to be the best at Pokémon (in this case, Pokémon trading cards). You're quest is to defeat the elite four and then a champion in order to obtain the legendary cards. You go through eight different gym's (or clubs, as they are called here) and then face the four Grand Masters.

Gameplay: Outside of battle, the gameplay is almost virtually identical to Pokémon Red, except in Trading Card Game there is a world map instead of each location being separated by routes. In battle, however, is entirely different. You start off with a deck of 60 cards, which is then shuffled. You then pick out seven cards for your hand, then you pick out the basic Pokémon (i.e. Pikachu, Charmander...the Pokémon that have not evolved at all). You play one of these Pokémon as your starter while any others are placed on the bench. Depending on the match you will then have to place a number of prizes (the average is four). You will pick up one of these prizes if you defeat one of your opponents Pokémon. A coin is tosses to decide who starts. Then the two players take turns, with each turn beginning with the player picking up a card from their deck and ending when they choose to end it, or when the Pokémon attacks it's opponent. Some moves will require a coin toss in order to do extra damage or to inflict a status such as poison, paralysis and confusion. The winner is the first one to either pick up all the prizes or to defeat all of your opponent's Pokémon in their bench. Although this sounds slightly complicated, it's really easy to understand and the more you play, the more you will be able to win. Some moves will deal extra damage to Pokémon that is weak to that move (i.e. a fire move will deal double damage on a grass Pokémon). The problem with the gameplay lies in the fact that battles are slooooow. Some regular battles can last just over ten minutes. It is not exactly an action-packed thrill ride of heart attack proportions. However, the game does make you think and thus for any fans of strategic battles, will probably like it.

Graphics/Sound: The graphics are improved from Pokémon Red/Blue as there is colour to it and thus everything looks nicer. Other than that, not much else has been improved, the images of the cards are identical to the real life cards. Sound, on the other hand, is inconsistent. One minute I'm listening to a funky, catchy song...the next I am having to put it on mute so my ears can recover. The first sound you hear after the Game Boy screen is a screeching-type noise while the opening intro plays, which is not nice. One of the worst things about this game is the sound I'm afraid. Battle music is okay, but I still prefer it on mute.

Conclusion: So, the game itself is not bad. The problem is, it is not that good either. The good parts are that the battles require thinking and a strategic mind. Also, you can win every battle if you are good and lucky enough. One of the bad parts...you can lose any battle if you are unlucky enough. Even if you spent ages working on your deck for the next opponent, you could find that due to the shuffling of the deck, you will not be guaranteed that your Pokémon will be strong against your opponent's, which means you cannot properly plan a match before hand. Now, that's no problem, it is the same in real life Trading Card Game, but the thing is...the game has not translated well into a video game. It is infinitely funner to play it in real life (of course, hardly anyone plays it now-a-days, but I'm talking back in the day...when we decided to learn how to play it). So, while it did have potential to be a good game, it unfortunately did not live up to it.

Final Score: 5 Charizard Cards out of 10.

Two Weeks From Now: It may have been created in order to cash in on the popularity of the Anime series of Pokémon, but most of us bought it and liked it better than the original. Is that still true? Or can I just copy and paste the Pokémon Red/Blue review? I am, of course, talking about Pokémon Yellow!

Title: Metal Gear Solid
Developed/Published By: Konami
Released: 1998
Consoles: Playstation

Background: One of the most successful games for the Playstation, Metal Gear Solid was regarded as one of the most innovative games of its time, with it popularising stealth in video games while featuring many lengthy cinematic cut-scenes, which was rare for a game at that time, causing many people to claim it was more of an interactive movie than a game. However, the game was a critical and commercial success, selling over 6 million copies worldwide. It has been eleven years since the game was released and since then we have had three sequels plus many spin-offs and a remake of this very game for the Gamecube. So, is it still a masterpiece of a game that many claimed it to be, or has it aged quicker than Solid Snake himself (see: Metal Gear Solid 4)?

Note: I'm going to try and minimalise spoilers in the story, BUT, there are some cases where I might mention something that is quite spoilerish.

Story: The game is a sequel to Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake. The main character of those games, Solid Snake, is forced out of retirement for a mission into a nuclear weapons disposal facility on an island called Shadow Moses in Alaska. His mission is stop Foxhound, his former unit, from launching a nuclear missile. They are demanding the remains of Big Boss, Solid Snake's former mentor and enemy of the first two games, within 24 hours or they will launch it. However, things are not as they seem, but I won't ruin it for people who have not played this game yet. Snake also has to save two important hostages, DARPA chief Donald Anderson and ArmsTech President Kenneth Baker. You are helped in your mission by several people over the codec, a radio-type device that allows people to speak to you without people around you being able to hear it. Colonel Campbell, who was the one who brought you into the mission, returns from the second Metal Gear game. His niece, Meryl, is on Shadow Moses as she was training as a soldier there before FOXHOUND led a revolt. She was one of the only ones who did not join the revolt. You arrive at the facility and you eventually find Donald Anderson, who *MINOR SPOILER* dies suddenly via what looks like a heart attack *END SPOILER* and not long after that you find Baker who *MINOR SPOILER* read previous spoiler *END SPOILER*. I won't go on about the story much further, if you have not played it then I do not really want to spoil much of it. FOXHOUND is made up of the leader Liquid Snake (who looks exactly like Solid Snake, but is not an evil twin, as you'll find out near the end of the game), Vulcan Raven, a shaman who is very physically powerful, Sniper Wolf, a *MINOR SPOILER* sniper *END SPOILER* who can wait for days for a chance to hit her target, Psycho Mantis, a psychic who can read minds and perform telekinesis, Decoy Octopus, a master of disguise and Revolver Ocelot, who loves to torture  people and also loves a good old fashioned gun fight. Each of the main characters, from allies to villains, are well developed and the story is complex, epic and really good.

Gameplay: The gameplay is stealth orientated and it is wise to keep out of sight if you can. If you get caught you will have an endless amount of guards after you within seconds (which I will speak more of later). The controls are easy enough to understand and the gameplay itself is pretty strong. If you have played MGS 2 or 3 (can't talk about 4, since I haven't played it) then you might find it a little hard to get used to the fighting, as there is no first person view (which I always use for fighting in the later games, which made it hard to adjust). The lack of first person view also meant that I had to be careful and not run about everywhere. I found myself being stealthy in places where there were no enemies and no camera's, just in case there is one off-screen. Most of the boss battles are unique and epic, with each one requiring a different strategy or technique to defeat (again, not saying how to defeat them, not making it easy for those who haven't played it yet, but will eventually). Overall, pretty good, but it is was hard for me to get used to since I had played the PS2 MGS games before this one, but that is not anything against the game.

Graphics/Sound: Like all PlayStation games, the graphics are dated. However, at the time they were really good and not many games had anything better in 1998. The music is also pretty good, although I think future games have stronger soundtracks, but it's definitely not bad. However, it is the voice acting which really impressed me. While many games during this time struggled to have a great voice cast (some even struggling to find good actors for some of the live-action games that were around in the mid 90s), Metal Gear Solid has some great voices. David Hayter, who voices Solid Snake, is my personal favourite out of the cast, but Liquid Snake, Ocelot and Otacon all have great voices that match with their characters perfectly.

Criticisms: I mentioned earlier about how if you get caught, you get a mini-army on your ass in a matter of seconds, well although that is an exaggeration, it is still pretty annoying. Unlike future games, if you get caught you usually have to run, or else you will end up wasting bullets which are needed for boss battles on soldiers who are quickly replaced by another soldier. Luckily this is sorted out in the future games. Another criticism would be that there is a message in the story, WAR IS BAD! Problem is that at points in the game that message was as subtle as an elephant doing the Macarena. I do like the story and most of the dialogue, but I was not a fan of the WAR IS BAD AND EVIL AND ETC sections of the game. Also, early in the game your given a few codec calls that can annoy you (especially if you have read the instruction booklet, then you already know what they are telling you) .Luckily the rest of the game is strong enough that these flaws are very minor annoyances and do not take away much from the rest of the game.

Conclusion: Great game, age has not done anything to help it, but it still plays pretty well. If you are looking to get into the Metal Gear series, this would probably be the best game to start with(there is brief summaries of the previous games on the game to give you more of a background on the story). I am not really saying anything that has not already been said before, but there may still be that one person who has never played this game before. If you haven't...DO IT!

Final Score: 9.3 Cardboard Boxes out of 10.

Note: If you own a GameCube, but not a PS2 or PS1, you can play the remake, Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes. I have not played it myself, so I can't tell you if it's any good, but it's the same game as MGS1, but with gameplay elements and graphics as MGS 2.

In two weeks time, the Apocalypse will come. A Mutant Apocalypse that is, MUAHAHAHAHAHA...and by that I mean the review of X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse for the SNES...!

Title: Pokémon Red/Blue
Developed By: Game Freak
Published By: Nintendo
Released: 1996 (Japan), 1998 (North America), 1999 (Europe)
Console: Game Boy

Background: If you actually need a background to this game series, then you are either too old to know it or have serious brain issues and thus should not be allowed outside without supervision. The late-90s and early 00s saw Pokémon become pretty much the biggest thing in the universe to kids. Children during this era had little interest in jumping on Goombas or running around a fantasy land dressed like Disney's version of Peter Pan. No, when it came to games, catching monsters in balls and training them to become fighting machines was our cup of tea. Anyone my age who did not like Pokémon is a liar or did not have the chance to play these games. These games started it all. Sometime a couple of weeks ago I had a nostalgia attack and decided to go on a mission to review as much Pokémon games as possible. Why am I cursed to be so stupid? However, I will try to uphold my promise, although I will try to review other games after each Pokémon game reviewed. So, the first Pokémon review of TWENTY-FOUR (however, depending on availability, it could be only twenty), and here it is: Pokémon Red and Pokémon Blue.

Story: Pokémon Red and Blue, both are the same game, but the differences will be talked about later, take place in the fictional land of Kanto. In this land are creatures called Pokémon, which vary from little birds to sea dragons. There are 151 species of Pokémon in this game (a number which would grow hugely in future generations of Pokémon). You control a boy from the little town called Pallet Town. Here you meet a Pokémon scientist called Professor Oak, who gives you and your rival their very first Pokémon. You can choose from Bulbasaur, who is a plant-type Pokémon, Charmander, a fire lizard and Squirtle, a turtle-like water Pokémon. Whatever one you choose, your rival will choose the type that opposes the type of your starter Pokémon. You are then given a Pokédex and told to go out and collect as much Pokémon as possible. After this there is not much of a story, you go around the cities, fighting for badges in Pokémon gyms in order to be able to use special abilities out of battle (these abilities are Cut, Fly, Surf, Strength and Flash). You will occasionally run into your rival while also running into the evil team of the game, Team Rocket. They get up to some evil doings like stealing a machine that allows a Pokémon to learn a move (in this case, the move Dig). Rebels. They are led by Giovanni, who the player has to defeat three times, the third to earn the final badge and to disband Team Rocket. You then take on the Elite Four and win and are crowned League Champion, except your rival beat them first (what a dick!) and you have to face him. You beat him Professor Oak shows up and offically crowns your character as the Pokémon Champion. Then you can go out and attempt to complete your Pokédex (which is only possible with the help of friends, as some Pokémon are exclusive to one of the versions).

Gameplay: The gameplay is basic turned based RPG stuff. You choose your move, the opponent chooses theirs, the Pokémon use the moves on each other and then repeat. There is, however, a lot of strategy involved with this game. Each Pokémon belongs to a type, such as Fire, Water, Grass, Electric, Flying etc. Some types are weak against others, while some types are strong against others, for example, Water is strong against Fire, which is strong against Grass, which is strong against Water. In most cases it is common sense what is strong against what. After a while you should have a balanced party which allows you to be strong against nearly any Pokémon that you encounter. Outside of battle there is not much to say, you can walk or, after a certain part of the game, ride a bicycle everywhere. However, walking is slow so bike-riding is sometimes the most logical choice. After obtaining one of the HM (Hidden Machine), a re-useable version of a TM (Technical Machine) which allows you to teach a Pokémon a move. The gameplay is pretty decent, it is easy enough for children to understand it, but at the same time, has enough strategy for older players to appreciate.

Graphics/Sound: This is the part of the game that has aged so much. Graphics are not good, everything is either red or blue depending on which version you are using (and if you are using a Game Boy Colour or above). The Pokémon don't really look like they do in the animated series, which I remember complaining about back when I was seven. Each move has a little animation to go with it, but a lot of the time they are not very good. The music is occasionally good, but I have heard better on the Game Boy. Still, it is not that bad and can be quite catchy at times. But if you spent too long in an area then the repetitiveness of it will start to grate at your soul.

Other: Although I was really excited it do this, for nostalgia value for me personally, only one other game series can even contest with Pokémon in the memories it brings back. And in the end Pokémon wins by a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong shot. However, four hours into my new game my happiness slowly turned into fustration. Why? It's all because of a fictional caterpillar called Caterpie. I was using the Red version and Caterpie's are rarer in this version then they are in Blue. However, they are the most useful Pokémon in defeating the first Gym boss, who uses Rock Pokémon, as it's third stage of evolution, a butterfly called Butterfree, learned a Phychic move called Confusion, which was the only move any of my Pokémon knew that actually had normal effect on the Rock Pokémon, instead of being weak. TWO HOURS of pain followed, but as I was on the brink of giving up, up came a Caterpie, the first one to show up, and I managed to catch it. However, after that it was a struggle to bring back the glory period near the beginning of the game when I was simply having fun.

Overall:  It is a decent enough game that has, sadly, not aged well at all. It is very hard to go back to this game after playing all the other versions (from Gold/Silver to Diamond/Pearl), thus highlighting the flaws of this game, a majority of which are now sorted out. However, it is quite a fun game and it is playable, but it is vastly inferior to the games that followed them.

Final Score: 7 Poké Balls out of 10.

Next Pokémon Review: It is a game, based off a card game...based off a game. I am talking about the Trading Card Game for the Game Boy, a game I have never played (yet used to pay the actual card game a fair amount).
Next Game Review: This is one of the games that made Sony a big player in the video game business, and continues to be praised as one of the best games ever released for the PS1. Tactical Espionage Action - no one does it better. This is, of course, Metal Gear Solid.

Title: Hogs of War
Developed/Published By: Infogrammes
Released: 2000
Consoles: Playstation/PC

Background: Now, I can't tell which idea is more over the top, worms killing each other...or pigs killing each other while set in a piggy version of theFirst World War...actually Worms almost sounds normal in comparision. This game is up there in nostalgic memories. Originally, one of my friends had this game and we had a great amount of fun. Then he stopped being cool. So a couple of years went by and I had no pigs to fry. That is until that fateful day I walked into my local ASDA with £10 and came out with a double pack of games, Worms and Hogs of War. Hours was spent on this game as I sat there realising that...it is not as good as I remembered it to be. But that is for another section of the review. So, shall we proceed?

Story: Unlike Worms there is a story. You take one team of stereotypes, Tommy's Trotters (Britian), Sow-A-Krauts (Germany), Sushi Swine (Japan, obviously), Uncle Ham's Hogs (United States), Garlic Grunts (France) and Piggystroika (Russia). You may have noticed that these teams have subtle piggy references, oh those witty and clever guys! Each team has unique characters with unique voices (although I can only really remember the depressed Russian dude...I played this less than a couple of hours ago and I've already forgotten most of the characters. Well done me, well done. You take your team and you take over sections of the continent of...sigh...Saustralasia in the...for crying out loud...Pigsific ocean. Yeah...there are many pig puns in this game. Saustralasia is made up of five different lands, brace yourself folks, Hogshead, Bellyopolis, Trottsville, Arstria and the Isle of Swill. The pig in charge is Commander IP Grimly...ha ha ha. Maybe this is why I failed to capture the magic of it, maybe I just grew up? However, surely the gameplay has some delights?

Gameplay: The game is essentially the same as Worms, one pig from a team gets a turn, moves to a spot and attacks within a time limit, then the other team's pig has a turn. In fact the gameplay is IDENTICAL to Worms, the only difference is that it is in 3D, which seems to make it feel a little slow. However, this does not mean it is not fun, because by golly it is fun. Just like Worms it can be addicitive if you let it take over you. Other changes are that water is no longer SUPER-UBER LETHAL, you can swim out of it (but you lose a lot of health if you go into the water). Also, you can throw grenades across the water if you aim it right (there is an optional tutorial level which teaches you how to do this. First time players should do this as it can be very useful). There are now shelters you can hide in which have it's own lifebar. However, there's nothing radically new except it is in 3D. Worms fans should find themselves in familiar territory playing this game.

Graphics/Sound: Like most PS1 games in 3D, the graphics are dated, but nothing too serious. Like Worms, graphics take back seat to the gameplay. Being in 3D does give it some advantages, being able to add a lot more detail to the locations and to help give each of the characters some unique features. However there is not much else to say about the graphics. They were not extraordinary for the time and neither were they terrible for the time. They were the normal graphics you would find in a 3D PS1 game. The sound is generally pretty good. The song that plays in the menu can get a little annoying if you are ever forced to listen to it long enough. The sound effects are also decent enough, while the voices do the job. Comedian Rik Mayall lends his voice to the game, but he was slightly before my time, so it does not affect me that much.

Criticisms: It can get quite repetitive, and although they managed to get a decent single player campaign in, it's still better with friends. However, I'm starting to get a little repetitive with my criticisms. Basically, the same flaws are present here that were present for Worms, but some issues are sorted out a little.

Overall: While this will always be in my top ten nostaligic games for me, I can not help but feel a little bit deflated everytime I play it. Not literally, although I could use with some deflating, but I digress. In conclusion, this game is good, but is slightly ruined for me due to those pesky rose tinted glasses I seem to wear while looking back at this game. It cannot live up to my hype of the game. Still, there is apparently a sequel in the making and you can be sure I will be trying out that game to see if they have made any improvements.

Final Score: 7.5 pork sausages out of 10.

NEXT TIME: They were nightmares to the pockets of all parents in the late 90s to the early 00s, yet these pocket monsters were quite possibly the greatest thing in the minds of many kids my age. The fact that at just 16, a group of four guys (me included) still knew just about every one of the original 150 of them. I am of course talking about Pokémon. Hate 'em or love 'em, they still make Nintendo a load of cash and thus won't dissapear competely for a loooooooong time. I plan on reviewing MOST of the Pokémon games, the Wii games are the only ones I can't possibly play. Hopefully I'll go back to a fortnightly schedule in the future, so expect Pokémon Red/Blue Review to be finished sometime 2010.

Note: Thanks for telling me about that game. I promise I'll get to it, maybe in the middle of the Pokémon specials. I've never played a game as old as that, but god dammit, I cannot help but be intrigued by it (and I've yet to even play it!).